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Virtual Mansion Etiquette - Conversation is the only flow I need to know about..

Folks... technology is a wonderful thing, but like all things keen and awesome, there are people who abuse it.  Sometimes it is innocent enough, and these people don't intend to be malicious.. They are simply idiots.  Chatrooms have come a long way in the last few years.  What was once a boring box full of incomprehensible text among people, is now a box full of incomprehensible text with graphics!!  You can create an avatar of yourself, which in no way, shape or form resembles you in real life.  You can explore palaces, mansions and other far out places and hang out with your friends.  You can even have props to customize the atmosphere of your conversation (nothing breaks the ice like an animated monkey screwing you in the ear)

Typically, you will get together with friends  and just stare at one another in the rooms until someone decides that in order to justify spending irretrievable time from your life in a virtual world, they must speak.  Yes, there is a learning curve to all this stuff... special lingo, acronyms, etc, etc, but you'll get the hang of it.  There are quite a few cool people to be found around these places that are willing to help.  Of course having said that, there are also an equal number of idiots and riffraff floating about.  The nice thing about them is that they are usually grouped together somewhere like a herpes virus on a crack house toilet seat... easy to avoid.  They are the ones that actually take this shit seriously and think they have some kind of authority in the virtual world.  Oh, and they often mistakenly assume that any of the rest of us give a shit about them.  Beware.. many of them are dudes in chick avatars..

So, to help out our 'noobs' (or newbies.. people new to this experience) I'm gonna give you a quick little crash course on what's cool and what will put you on the fast track to supreme idiocy when visiting a virtual environment: 

Coming into a new room with people you don't know:  Pop in, and introduce yourself.. Usually, just saying 'hi' to the group will suffice.. maybe hang back a little and see what's going on.. absorb the ongoing conversation.  Keep in mind that they may not engage you in conversation right away.. don't get your panties in a bunch about that (or your 'virtual panties' if you are a reverse polarity avatar)  Just like in real life, people need to get to know you a little.  We naturally assume that someone from a larger group (usually a noob or a weaker of the idiot species) is a spy... we summize you really aren't there to befriend us, rather your purpose is to run back to the larger pack of idiots and tell them about our cool couch avatar or that we are talking about getting backstage passes to a show.  We will eventually sniff you out and will follow you around wherever you go with a dancing penis and a sign that says, "fake tits".  So, just be cool, and be yourself, and you'll get along fine. Oh, and if you need to bug out, just say 'bye' to everyone first.

The buddy system:  Since it is commonplace in the real world for chicks to double up on a trip to the bathroom, it is also acceptable to travel around the virtual world with a buddy.  Sometimes this is good for security and self-esteem.  However, the rules of coming in as an individual still apply.  DO NOT start yapping to each other while the room is having a conversation!!  If you wanted to have a conversation with one another, there are two options:  1) go to your own damned room!!  and/or 2) private message each other.  DO NOT engage in the idiot procreative process of having virtual sex in front of the people in the room!! (unless invited to do so)  We don't think it's hot.. in fact, we are all imagining what you really look like under that avatar, and it ain't pretty. Idiots.

Acceptable conversation:  This usually applies to the buddy system if you crash someone elses room (dropping in uninvited).  Just like we don't want to be interrupted by two idiots bumping ugly, we also don't want to hear you talking to each other about stupid shit.  You may NOT come in and start talking about cramps, your menstrual cycle, getting back with your ex, rashes, bullshit stories about blowing rockstars, etc...  Not to put too fine a point on it, but just to be clear.. WE DON'T GIVE A SHIT!!  If I want to know if you look anything like your avatar, I will simply ask you if you are hideous in real life.. I will then confirm your response by looking up your pics on your MySpace page or whatever.  I look nothing like my avatar (I simply couldn't find a fat, balding, middle-aged male avatar with a 'winger' shirt on...) but I'm not gonna lie to you about who I really am either.  Think about it, idiots... If I really WAS someone important (and had a real life)... would I really need to tell you about it in a virtual mansion??? 

Again... just have fun with it.. that's what we are doing and that's what it is meant for.  Try not to let the idiots ruin it for you and most importantly.. Do not become one of them!!!  Oh, and a food item offered up for my prop bag is worth 1,000 words..  -Ryan